“Nature or Nurture – Either Way it’s Your Parents’ Fault”
Maylor Journals
Have you done one of those DNA tests? I resisted that for a while but finally yielded when I got a 23 and Me gift certificate to do it. I really didn’t see a need since I had talked with my relatives about my heritage. You see my father was “100% German”. His father had been an immigrant from Germany and his mother’s parents had both immigrated, also from Germany. I knew that my mother’s side was mostly Norwegian, so I pretty much knew what the test would say. Except I didn’t. It turns out that my DNA is mostly from three sources – yes Germany, a little less than 1/3, and yes Norway a little less than 1/3, but also England /Ireland more than the other two.. My first reaction was that this analysis was wrong.
You see it was family lore that my Dad’s grandfather Dietrich, was a heroic sea caption who went down with his ship valiantly fighting for Germany in one of the great wars. And my Grandmother’s family had immigrated from almost the very same area of Germany. So, given that half of my parentage was solidly German that would certainly dominate, wouldn’t it? Well before dismissing the findings I determined to check out family lore a bit more. I hate it when this happens, but it turned out things weren’t exactly like I had been told. Yes, my Great Grandfather Dietrich had gone down with the ship, just before they had planned to emigrate to the US. But he wasn’t exactly a war hero – turns out he was the owner of a commercial boat that ferried produce from the rich farmland of the Friesland province in Germany to England. It’s just not as glamorous to report that his ship didn’t actually go down in battle, but instead while transporting a load of peas. But hey, those Brits were DEPENDING on those peas! Seriously it really was a tragedy because in addition to losing her husband my great grandmother Wuebke also lost a son who was working on the ship. What a courageous woman she was, setting off for the new world all by herself, accompanied only by her youngest two sons.
Growing up I certainly identified with my father’s heritage much more than my mother’s. We knew that her father was Norwegian – I mean his last name was Bryngelson. I had seen a book once that indicated that my Grandmother’s ancestors had come to America from London immediately after the Great Fire of London in the 1600’s (the Perry’s). But that would have been diluted by MY generation wouldn’t it? Maybe, maybe not, but what I didn’t realize was that my grandmother was much more connected to England than we knew – yes we could document the Perrys from London but probably a bigger influence was her FATHER’S connection to the Cornwall part of England, immediately across the sea from Ireland. This was only one generation removed – the Thomas family. Things started to make a little more sense – that English influence was coming from a couple different directions. I started to warm up to the idea, especially since I can now say that there might be some Irish in there too. It comes in handy when downing some Guinness and marching in the St. Paul St. Patrick’s Day parade.
I loved my Mom, but our family culture was totally defined by my Father and his extended family. That may have been because they were a little geographically closer to us and we had more exposure to them than my Mother’s extended family. But I think it was more than that. As I grew up I could see parts of me in my Dad and my uncles. I could go on for hours reciting fond memories of learning from them – what I call “life-lessons”. I especially credit them for the work ethic that has blessed me and cursed me for my whole life. They were industrious and sturdy people. They persevered through hardship and always kept their heads high no matter what the outcome. My point in all of this is that in my case, NURTURE was more influential than NATURE.
Somehow, I got into a site called Quora. This is a site where anyone can pose a question, and anyone can answer that question. Usually, the answering party lists their experiences and qualifications when responding. There is an opportunity for others to join in the conversation, although I never do that. And as a lot of these sites go, some of the responses kind of go off the rails. There is a lot of conversation these days about the war in Ukraine: Who is winning? Can there be a diplomatic solution? Who is to blame for starting the war? How long will the suffering go on? Etc. etc. One line of questioning puzzles me. Some of the readers ask about the “nature” of the Russian people. Are they inherently violent since MANY of them, especially those over age 50, support the war? Are they inherently gullible in swallowing the propaganda coming from their government? Are they inherently evil?
This kind of blows my mind. I thought that we were past the thinking that a given child is born inherently good or bad, that they will inherently respond to a given stimulus in a certain way. Maybe the “nature versus nurture” discussion is not settled. Even though I believe that Russia categorically started this conflict by their unlawful invasion of a sovereign nation, it is hard for me to believe that Russian mothers who have lost a son or daughter in the conflict weep any less than a Ukrainian mother who has lost a child. This is HUMAN NATURE, isn’t it? Usually, the more level-headed Quora responders talk about the Russian “culture”. This makes more sense to me. There is a long history of suffering in Russia, and I’m not just talking about Josef Stalin. It is ingrained into their culture.
Russia has a long and complicated history, marked by periods of greatness and periods of suffering. One of the recurring themes in Russian history is the presence of brutal leaders who ruled with an iron fist. Ivan the Terrible was perhaps the first of these leaders, reigning from 1547 to 1584. Despite his accomplishments, including expanding Russia’s territory and modernizing the army, Ivan was known for his temper and brutality. Peter the Great, who reigned from 1682 to 1725, modernized Russia and transformed it into a major European power, but he did so through brutal means, such as forcing serfs to work on his grand projects and executing those who opposed him. Catherine the Great, who reigned from 1762 to 1796, is often praised for her intelligence and accomplishments, but she was also a ruthless leader who crushed rebellions and made sweeping reforms that benefited the nobility at the expense of the serfs.
But these folks were Sunday School teachers compared to Stalin, who ruled from 1924 to 1953. Stalin oversaw the deaths of millions of people, both through his policies of forced collectivization and through purges of political opponents. His reign was marked by terror and fear, and he left a lasting legacy of suffering. Much has been said of how little Vladimir Putin values the life of his people. But he has not reached the level of brutality of his predecessors.
Because nurture has played such an important part in making me what I am, I ask myself how I WOULD be behaving in 21st century Russia. How would I, Craig L. Ebelonovich, growing up in St. Petersburg or Siberia see things even had I been blessed with the same genetic parents that I had? Maybe if I grew up in the Russian culture, I would think that Vlad was a great guy and that I needed to support what he is doing to the max. After all I believe I am a product of culture and nurture.
There seems to be a CULTURE in Russia that accepts hardship and oppression because of the perception that it cannot be changed. Accepting hardship and oppression is seen as patriotic. There also seems to be an element to the culture that feels a STRONG leader is required for the welfare of the country, in spite of how that may affect individuals. Some of this kind of thinking may also contribute to the culture of alcoholism, which is a widely underestimated problem for Russia.
Mulling all of this over, I am not optimistic about a resolution to the war any time soon. In the minds of the West (because of our nurture), this is such a clear-cut example of self-interested imperialism and unprovoked violence run amok, that it can NOT be allowed to stand. And then stacked up on the other side is a culture that values strong (even if brutal) leadership and is totally willing to sacrifice anything that those leaders require. Putin is exploiting that culture – depending on it. Of course, things can change, dramatically and quickly. But I don’t see him backing down. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t see a resolution without much more bloodshed and destruction.
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Words from a radical moderate.