“I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.”
—Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory
You would need to be living under a rock to have not heard about the downing of no less than four “objects” above the North American skies over the last week. I have to admit that I am fascinated by the stories as are so many. There has been a great deal of second guessing and general frustration about how these situations were handled. With something this interesting, we want to KNOW every detail and we are frustrated that we can’t find out. Some feel we have a RIGHT to know. I am not sure which part of the Bill of Rights this falls under. But in an information vacuum, many rush forward to fill that vacuum, even it is with more hot air than ever was in the actual balloons! Some are theories, some are conspiracy theories, and some are genuinely funny.
• “Maybe Joe built the balloon & had Hunter launch it to scare we the people!” wrote one Facebook user. “How do WE know??? We don’t!”
• “How long before they announce that more of Joe Biden’s Classified Documents have been found on the Chinese Spy Balloon?” (I thought this one was really quite cute.)
• Then there are what I call the “misdirection theories”:
– This is a false flag to draw attention away from the toxic chemical spill in Ohio.
– This is a false flag to divert our attention from the immigration problem.
– This is a false flag to divert our attention from the investigation into the affairs of Hunter Biden.
– This is a false flag to divert our attention from the war in Ukraine.
– This is a false flag to divert our attention away from the inflation problem.
• Some felt that President Biden’s delay in shooting down the balloon until it reached open water showed that he was either in league with the Peoples Republic of China (PRC) or conversely that he was afraid of the PRC and too weak to act decisively. “How many insane decisions… or lack of intelligent decisions (a la watching a spy balloon & not shooting it down) have been made because Joe Biden and his family are compromised by our enemies?” Donald Trump Jr. tweeted on Friday. Still another theorist maintains that this is all just preparing us for a war with the PRC and that in reality, if there even is a balloon it is not a spy balloon.
• Some online conspiracy theorists have dismissed the events as never really having happened. Conspiracy podcast host Stew Peters slammed the balloon reports as “fake”.
• One former Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) officer opined that one or more of the secondary object discoveries relate to spy equipment that came from Russia, who was attempting to exploit our weakness in the confusion.
• I have to say my favorite is the “Project Blue Beam” explanation coming from ex-professional baseball player Aubrey Huff. He wrote, “Calm down everyone. What you’re seeing in the sky isn’t from another planet. It’s Project Blue Beam to once again scare, confuse and distort the truth so we remain compliant and reliant on corrupt governments.” I confess I didn’t really know much about the Project Blue Beam. But a bit or research told me that the thought is that the American National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the United Nations (UN) are conspiring to institute a new uniform world religion by creating a giant holographic image in the sky involving the Antichrist and the Second Coming of Christ, of course using balloons.
• Sort of overarching the discussion is the wonderment about whether these occurrences were related to an alien invasion – or at least proof that we are not alone in the universe. General Glen VanHerck, head of the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) didn’t really do anything to tamp this kind of speculation down when he said on Sunday in response to a question about extraterrestrial involvement, that he ruled nothing out!! General VanHerck noted that “we’re calling them objects, not balloons, for a reason”. At a weekend press conference, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre, with a straight face assured the reporters present that there were no indications of extraterrestrial beings involved in this. There was a small outburst of laughter from the White House Press Corp, but I thought it was bit of a nervous laughter. Of course, this is the explanation that for many is the most fun. “Sorry not interested in any far-fetched conspiracy theories that the UFOs are something other than extraterrestrial spacecrafts,” tweeted Daily Wire host Matt Walsh.
Well, I kind of agree that perhaps the federal government could be a bit more forthcoming. After THREATS and DEMANDS from congressional members that you have never heard of before this whole thing, Senators were briefed earlier today. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy gave this wonderful summary of the briefing to reporters: “If you are confused, you understand the situation perfectly”. Then as the reporters were departing, he mumbled “Lock your doors tonight”!!
I really don’t want to weigh in on this too definitively because of course I have no inside government informants. If you believe the few scraps of reliable information coming out, you would probably conclude that the PRC actually DID send a spy satellite over the US and Canada, just as we have been doing to them for years. And once that fact was widely known, NORAD upped the ante, “opened up the apertures” of their radar equipment as they say and began to identify stuff that is in the air now and probably has been for years. But I don’t want to look foolish tomorrow when ET is at my front door, so I am saying that “I’m just saying”.
Still having said all of that, I can report that I have an unimpeachable source who lives in Arizona who has a theory that makes as much sense as any of the others. As you know Phoenix / Glendale was the site of the Super Bowl this weekend as well as hosting a PGA tournament. There were WILD parties going on everywhere and these parties invariably involved balloons. There were reports that there was an accidental confluence of approximately one-hundred-and- fifty-seven of these large balloons that inadvertently snared an unsuspecting VW Microbus that was carrying disciples to look at crystals in Sedona. The occupants felt that it was one of the best trips they have ever been on and are now safely ensconced in the Witness Protection Program, somewhere in the State of Wyoming. You heard it here first.
2 thoughts on “The Need to Know”
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You have GOT to go into stand-up comedy! You absolutely outdid yourself on this one!
Thank goodness for your writing–what a laugh and more!
Thanks, Craig
Thank you, Craig, for gathering so many of the “theories” about the sources and natures of the things now being shot from the sky. I had only seen a few of them, so you helped me catch up. Naturally, all of this is happening at a time when even explainable things attract alternative explanations, so the fact that imaginations are running wild is no big surprise. The thing that makes the most sense is your observation that the discovery and recognition of an airship from China overhead would likely cause defense officials to “widen the aperture” and pay attention to things that might otherwise have been discounted as radar noise. Basically, lots of things may have been up there for a long time, but we are looking for them now. I tend to believe that this kind of reaction is why, if there are aliens flying in the area of the Earth, they lock their doors, put their heads down and fly on by.